In the past, when I was overwhelmed by stress, my thoughts and worries consumed me completely, quickly draining both my physical and mental energy. Then, at night, when I went to bed, exhausted and in need of some rest... I couldn’t fall asleep! I would toss and turn in that limbo between wakefulness and sleep, with thoughts coming and going relentlessly, over which I had no control (and the direction they took, of course, made me even more anxious and stressed).
So not only did I lose hours and hours of sleep, but I was also incredibly frustrated. "How is this possible? I’m so tired, why can’t I sleep!?"
In my desperation, I tried many things: melatonin, chamomile, relaxing music, breathing exercises, various apps... until I perfected what worked for me, a few minutes of evening routine that finally quiets my thoughts and helps me fall asleep easily. Since then, I haven’t abandoned it.
If you experience the same thing, here are three essential steps from my routine that you can do with your eyes closed:
1. Gratitude exercise
I start by spending 2-3 minutes reflecting on the positive things in my life.
I tell myself: "I am a lucky person because..." and list 5-6 things I’m grateful for. Some are constant in my life, others vary from day to day.
For me, it’s important to remember that, despite problems and difficulties, there are many things that work and bring me joy.
This simple exercise helps me direct my thoughts, which were previously running wild, toward more useful and positive reflections. It also allows me to end the day with a sense of fulfillment and serenity, helping to push away the worries or bad moods of the day.
2. Guided breathing and mantra
Next, with my eyes still closed, I focus on my breath. I take a deep breath, expanding my belly. Then, I hold my breath for 4-5 seconds. I slowly exhale, emptying my lungs completely. I hold again for 4-5 seconds.
I imagine in my mind following a path that moves from left to right (I’ve illustrated it below) and try to see it in front of me, following it with my eyes.
This exercise helps me regulate my breathing effortlessly and focus my attention and thoughts.
At each phase of the breath, I repeat a mantra:
IN (inhale): " This is my safe place."
Hold (4-5 seconds).
OUT (exhale): " Here I find peace."
Hold.
IN: " Here I find my rest."
Hold.
OUT: " Here I find myself."
Hold.
IN: " Negative thoughts are forbidden here."
Hold.
OUT: " Worries are forbidden here."
Hold.
Repeat the process.
By repeating this exercise several times, my vision focuses on the path, my breathing takes on a wide, regular rhythm, and my mind becomes focused on the mantra. At first, there may still be intrusive thoughts, but after two or three cycles, I’m completely centered and relaxed.
Tip: Choose words that resonate with you. Your mantra should make you feel safe, relaxed and present. If one phrase doesn’t work for you, change it until you find the one that feels right.
3. Connection with heartbeat
Finally, I arrive at the last step, the one that actually helps me fall asleep.
I focus on the blackness I perceive before my closed eyes in the dark, and avoid focusing on images, colors, or random thoughts. I look for and see only black.
I place a hand on my chest or stomach and focus on my heartbeat, finding the point where I feel it strongest.
I breathe naturally and deeply, without holding my breath between inhalation and exhalation.
I mentally follow the rhythm of my heartbeat:
Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump.
After a short while, I start to perceive it not only with touch but also with my hearing.
I focus on four elements:
Touch: My hand feels the heartbeat.
Hearing: I hear it in my ears.
Mind: I consciously follow it.
Sight: I observe the blackness.
There are no more thoughts, images, or distractions in my mind. Within minutes, this rhythm naturally rocks me to sleep.
This routine has incredibly transformed my life, and I finally wake up feeling more rested and centered.
If you also struggle to fall asleep, try practicing even just one of these steps. Personalize your mantra with words that make you feel safe and relaxed, and discover how a few targeted exercises can make a huge difference in the quality of your sleep and, above all, your life.
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